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5 Mistakes Almost Everyone Makes Their First Shabbos (and How to Avoid Them)

Cooking too late, forgetting candles, panicking when the lights are wrong — the common stumbles, and how to make your first Shabbos calm instead of stressful.

Shabbos250··5 min read

The single biggest mistake: trying to cook, clean, set lights, and get dressed all in the last hour. Start Friday morning if you can. Aim to be fully done 30 minutes before candle …

1. Starting prep too late

The single biggest mistake: trying to cook, clean, set lights, and get dressed all in the last hour. Start Friday morning if you can. Aim to be fully done 30 minutes before candle lighting. The calmer the prep, the calmer the Shabbos.

2. Not setting lights before Shabbos

Once Shabbos starts, you can't turn lights on or off. Walk through your home Friday afternoon and decide: which lights stay on for 25 hours, which stay off. Tape over light switches you don't want anyone to flip by accident.

3. Forgetting matches and candles

Sounds obvious. Happens constantly. Buy them earlier in the week. Put them somewhere you'll see.

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4. Trying to do everything

You don't need to learn every prayer, sing every song, or follow every custom your first time. Light candles, make Kiddush over wine or grape juice, eat challah, rest, and make Havdalah at the end. That's a real Shabbos.

5. Doing it alone

Shabbos is a communal day. If you can join an Orthodox family or community for even one meal, do it. The experience is completely different.

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WRITTEN BY
The Shabbos 250 Editors
Practical guides, stories, and reflections about Shabbos and Jewish life in America.
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